Sept9’07
WHY EVERY KID NEEDS A GRAND-PARENT
Genesis 48:8-10
The impetus for a National Grandparents Day originated with Marian McQuade, a housewife in Fayette County, West Virginia. Her primary motivation was to champion the cause of lonely elderly in nursing homes. She also hoped to persuade grandchildren to tap into the wisdom and heritage their grandparents could provide. In 1978 President Jimmy Carter proclaimed that National Grandparents Day would be celebrated every year on the first Sunday after Labor Day. (www.grandparents-day.com)
Here are some anecdotes that Glenda sent to me that I thought might give us a good chuckle when we think about Grandparents Day.
A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little
girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
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My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.
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Grandparents are a powerful influence in the lives of their grandchildren. Parents can fail at parenting but a good grandparent can make up for lost ground. Parents can be the best at what they do, but a good grandparent will outshine them every time. Father can know best but Grandpa can do it better.
So what is it that makes you as a grandparent so special?
My Grandma Henderson filled a void in our home with her love, stories from the depression days (scary ones too) and supper composed of pinto beans and cornbread. During those long dog-days of summer she would take all of us grandchildren to the Hackley Library- on foot, of course. She hand stitched quilts and taught me how to sew- a talent I use with pride from time to time. She’d buy small gifts; give us special treats at her apartment in the Hartford Terrace. She lived to old age after a lifetime of eating chicken fried in lard, mashed potatoes with gravy and bacon and eggs. There was no one like her- before or since.
Today we are reminded that every person is a grandchild and every grandchild needs a grandparent. I am convinced that grandparents have so much more to offer than they realize.
Our scripture text suggests that there are three nurturing aspects of grand-parenting that every grandchild needs.
1. Grandparents as a Blessing.
One of the saddest situations I have to deal with from time to time is the grandparent who rejects a needy grandchild. This should never be!
Without getting too specific, my children had a classmate here in Shelby who became pregnant while still in high school. She carried the child to full term and gave birth to a strapping son. Occasionally I have seen the boy with her and her parents. Each time it seems that the grandfather has a hold of the kid with such love and affection.
One day I had the opportunity to speak to this grand-dad. I told him how proud I was of him and how good it made me feel that he was being a father figure to his grandson. He thanked me and also added: “Hey, he’s my buddy.”
I just pray that God somehow works continually in that family circle.
Every grandchild needs to be a loved and wanted grandchild. With the advent of blended families in our country and the out-of-wedlock births we have seen the explosion of shared grandchildren. What I mean is that there are a high number of grandparents whose children have stepchildren from other relationships. It’s not uncommon for a child to have several potential sets of grandparents.
Consider my circumstance. I have Grandma and Grandpa Higgins who died before I was born. I had Grandma and Grandpa Barnes of whom I never met. After my mother remarried my step-dad, I had Grandma and Grandpa Henderson who were divorced (I never met Grandpa Henderson). As a teen-ager I had Grandma and Grandpa Black and Grandma and Grandpa Moulton. I ended up with ten grandparents! Some of you may have had more. Of all my grandparents I never knew a single one of my “blood grandparents.” My interactions with grandparents were confined to Grandma Henderson, the Blacks and the Moultons.
Some of you have the opportunity to be like my grandparents and to be loving and caring grandparents to children that are not your blood. If so, take full advantage of that opportunity. Don’t worry about what others may think. And I realize that in saying this you have to use wisdom in each individual situation.
Every grandchild needs to be wanted by their grandparents. Unfortunately there are too many grandparents who fail in this. What does the Bible say Jacob did?
“Are these your sons?” (v. 8) He inquires of them- perhaps in a grandfatherly, joking matter. But don’t forget, these boys had an Egyptian mother. She was not one of Abraham’s people. And yet he accepted these boys as one of his own.
a. Jacob gave them God’s future.
He says in verse 16- "Let them grow into a multitude in the midst of the earth.” "And he blessed them that day, saying, in you shall Israel bless, saying, God make thee as Ephraim and as Manasseh; and he set Ephraim before Manasseh" (v. 20). They need you to give them God’s future.
b. Jacob gave them his heritage.
Jacob adopted the two boys. "They are mine." (v.5). "Let my name be upon them, and the name of my father Abraham and Isaac" (v.16). He treated them with the same blessings that the son was supposed to receive. True, later Joseph received a blessing by Jacob, but yet Joseph was not to be named as a tribe of Israel. Instead, Ephraim and Manessah would receive that blessing.
By claiming them he opened up his heritage to them. It allowed them to claim not only a family heritage but also a spiritual heritage.
c. Jacob showed them God’s riches.
Our grandchildren need to experience something about God’s grace in their lives. Too often they have witnessed a world filled with un-grace. You can be that person of grace in their lives no matter how far away they may live.
You as a grandparent- Be a blessing to your grandchildren and any others that come your way.
2. Grandparents as Nurturers.
There’s something about grandparents and their life experiences that helps them help the rest of us. It’s kind of like the old Texan proverb: “Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.”
Somehow I believe that this is what makes so many grandparents good nurturers. They have a lifetime of wisdom to share with us younger ones.
I like the example of nurturing that Grandpa Jacob gives to us this morning.
a. Jacob showed them affection.
b. Jacob hugged them.
c. Jacob gave them his love.
Every grandchild needs to be loved. Just as Jacob gave them his love, I propose to you that you love your grandchild or grandchildren.
d. Jacob treated them with respect.
He recognized them as important and respected them appropriately. He didn’t talk down to them nor above them but laid out a future for them.
Jacob nurtured his grandchildren before he died and gave them something else far more important.
He shared with them his spiritual heritage.
3. Grandparents as Spiritual Guides.
There is something very important about grandparenting that must never change in your life as a grandparent: your spiritual guidance.
Our world is starving for spiritual leadership. They need grandmas and grandpas to set an example of everything that is right.
I thank God for what he has done in my life and were it not for the love and acceptance I received from godly grandparents, I am not so sure some of the Biblical values would have stuck to me like they have.
a. Jacob gave them an example of humility.
He recognized that without God his life was emptied. And so one still night Jacob wrestled with the Angel of the Lord. It changed his life.
Your grandchildren need to hear of that life-changing moment for you. They need to hear how God brought to the place of total surrender.
I am convinced that a lot of times our younger people become frustrated with their grandparents and the older generation because they don’t know why you do things a certain way or why you go to church or why your lifestyle is so different.
Tell them why and in telling them you will be offering to them God’s hope for their lives.
b. Jacob gave them God’s hope.
Many of us see the sorrow in the eyes of children in our community. They need to have hope somehow instill in their hearts or else they will grow up with no hope and no God.
c. Jacob gave them an example of worship.
The position of worship. "He (Jacob) bowed himself with his face to the earth" (v.12).
The attitude of worship. "Jacob . . . worshipped, leaning upon the top of his staff" (Heb. 11:21).
d. Jacob gave them an example of godliness.
How you live your life will be the greatest testimony you can leave. To say nothing about Christ to your grandchildren is a crime. To say something about Christ but then don’t back it up with right actions is a sin.
May all your grandchildren who come behind you find you faithful.
So what do we say in conclusion of all of this?
I came across an article by Dr. Elmer Towns entitled “How To Bless Children.” Here are some closing tips for you as a grandparent to apply to your grandparenting skills.
CONCLUSION: HOW TO BLESS CHILDREN
Dr. Elmer Towns suggest five steps to blessing children that I think are very appropriate especially for our grandparents this morning. (God Bless You by Elmer Towns)
Step 1: A meaningful touch.
Step 2: Blessing with a spoken word.
Step 3: Attach high value to the one being blessed.
Step 4: Picture a special future for the one being blessed.
Step 5: An active commitment to fulfilling the blessing.
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