WHEN YOUR WORLD IS COMING APART

October 24, 2010

Message about Suicide

{I did not intend this message to be one filled with pat answers about life's problems. There are too many problems in life to be able to answer all of them to satisfaction. However, I do know a God through Jesus Christ who loves you and me right where we are at in life.}

 

I was sitting in my office sermonizing for the next Sunday when my telephone rang. After sifting through the papers on my desk I located the telephone and pushed talked:

"Hello." "Pastor Rob, this Bill Harris." "Hey, Bill, what's up." "I have Joyce Burmeister coming and she was wondering if you would mind doing her husband's funeral? He died by suicide."

My heart sunk. I had the privilege of having his father's funeral eight months before. Of course, I wanted to know what happened. Naomi and I immediately went out to their farm in Coopersville.

What do you say in those moments? How do you preach a sermon to those who are left behind? Where do the survivors go from this tragic point?

My purpose in bringing this message is to raise awareness about suicide. My hope is that you or those you know who face this terrible crisis of life would realize that help is available.

Let me clear up a couple of thoughts: This is not a message about death at the end of life. People choose or don't choose to allow certain medical procedures for various reasons. There are life and death decisions that families have to make with prayerful guidance.

I also desire to be compassionate with those who have had to deal with this issue. The fact is that every one of us has had to face this reality when a friend, relative, loved one, co-worker, neighbor or acquaintance took their life. We had a youth group to deal with when a young teen took his life; a sermon to preach when a husband and father took his life; a funeral to attend when an uncle took his life.

We are all affected in some way.

The scripture I have selected for us to consider is about a man named Ahithophel. Ahithophel was on the wrong side of civil war between those who supported King David and those who supported his rebel son, Absalom. Ahithophel supported Absalom. He gave guidance to him and advice on what steps to make next. He was to Absalom who Rahm Emmanuel was to Barak Obama or Karl Rove was to George Bush, Jr. He was the man with the plan. However, his plan came to be rejected and in that rejection he saw the writing on the wall of his life. Men like him don't take rejection very well and he knew that his life suddenly was on a short leash. And so he took matters into his own hands.

[Scripture reading]

What about you? Have you had recent thoughts of wishing you were dead? Have you thought about suicide? "Oh, come on, Pastor. I'm a Christian. I would never think about that!"

Consider what some statistics tells us:

• All age groups
  
• Every stratus
  
• Every Class
  
• All walks of life
  
• No religion exception
  
• Everyone!
  

The numbers tell us that there are

• 300,000 Suicides yearly    
  
• 1 attempt per minute; 1 death every 16 minutes by suicide
  
• 1,000,000 Internationally- more than war & homicide
  
• 90% + suffering from mental disease, depression or substance abuse
  
• For every 100,000    18 men commit suicide; for every 100,000 5 women            
  
• The highest groups are composed white males (75% of all death by suicides; men over 65 seem to be the most vulnerable.
  
• 1 teen dies by suicide every 90 minutes
  
• 6 people are directly affected by suicide
  

A Variety of uses are employed and obviously the highest choice is firearms- which may be because of availability and simplicity.

But why would someone kill themselves? I attended a funeral of the Vice-chairman and Sunday School Superintendent of one of our district's Wesleyan churches some ten or twelve years ago. This upstanding Wesleyan had given in to a venial sin that was set to undo his entire life and family. The only way he saw out was like Judas who betrayed Christ- by taking his own life.

I want to say to you that there is forgiveness for sin and there is restoration of the soul but only through Jesus Christ. I and other scholars have wondered what would have happened if Judas had run to Jesus and confessed his failure?

• Mental disease and…
  
• Depression can go together.
  
• Failure- business bankruptcy;
  
• Loss- joblessness, financial strains
  
• Grief- loved one or one's own sense of hopelessness
  
• Bullying- goes on a lot more than we think! A person feels like they can't handle it anymore.
  
• Guilt- sinful behavior- broken laws- murder/suicides
  
• Disappointment- Life just doesn't have meaning anymore
  
• Rejection- by family or friends for wrongful behavior; not measuring up to peer group

 

And I am sure there are other reasons. In his book Why People Die by Suicide, Thomas Joiner (2006) outlines several theories of suicide that have emerged over the past two centuries. In this theory, Joiner says that those who kill themselves not only have a desire to die, they have learned to overcome the instinct for self-preservation. That is, wanting death, according to Joiner, is composed of two psychological experiences: a perception of being a burden to others (perceived burdensomeness) and social disconnection to something larger than oneself (thwarted belongingness).

The idea behind burdensomeness is that suicidal people believe that their death is worth more to the people who love them than their life is; they no longer feel purposeful. Because humans are so hardwired for connection, social isolation and ruptured relationships can increase a desire for suicide in some people. People often need to feel that they belong to something larger than themselves, and when they do – through an intimate relationship, a faith community, a school, a neighborhood – these relationships can often serve as a buffer through hard times. [And so] many people can experience suicide desire, but never act on these feelings because they do not have [both parts of the equation working together.]

In other words, by themselves, neither of these states (perceived burdensomeness and thwarted belongingness) is enough to move a person to act on the desire for death, but together with an acquired capacity (or fearlessness) they result in a high risk state for suicide. Sometimes this acquired capacity is developed over a lifetime of provocative and painful experiences of trauma and injury. Other times it builds as a person moves from suicidal thought to increasingly lethal behavior. Still, there are many people who have survived trauma and others who purposely put themselves at risk (e.g., daredevils, adrenaline junkies) who never take their lives because they do not have a desire for suicide. ("Understanding Suicide" Sally Spencer-Thomas www.peoplepreventsuicide.org/understanding-suicide )

So what say we this morning? A few thoughts:

FIRST (and foremost) Suicide is never in God's Plan.

• 
  God Values Life.
  After all, God is the author of life. He created the universe and everything in it. In fact, we are not our own- we were bought with a price.
  
• Scripture promotes Life. You never find the Bible speaking of the destitution of life without promoting the meaning of life. Jesus spoke of a man losing his life to find his life but not in the sense of killing one's self literally.
  
• Everyone wants Life.
  Every human being fights to live under normal circumstances. We are hardwired to be survivors even in the face of danger. Our Maker made us this way- to want to live.
  

However…

• 
  Satan despises Life.
  

^"The thief's purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life." John 10:10

SECOND: Life is for Everyone.

• Life comes from God. Psalm 139 (of which we will get to in a little more depth later) speaks of being "fearfully and wonderfully made." The concept that the Psalmist gives us is that when we were knit together in our mother's womb, God carefully crafted our being.
  
• God knows your name. Jesus said that our heavenly Father knows everything about us. He knows even the very hairs on our head and so we are not to worry about what we will eat or even what we will wear. I find it interesting that what gets someone's attention in the Scriptures is when their name is spoken: "Moses" Samuel" "Mary"
  
• God creates nothing in vain. Everything that God created in the beginning was created with purpose and for God's world. Don't ask me about mosquitoes and fleas and ticks, though. However, everything and especially you was not created in vain.
  

Life is important. You have importance. And regardless of how you may feel about yourself at this moment…

THIRD: You can have hope Restored.

One of the worst places a person can get to is that place of hopelessness. Without hope we struggle to live a life of significance and purpose. But for the Christian there are some answers that help us restore hope to life.

• There is purpose in Jesus Christ. I like Jeremiah 29:11-14a "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. And I will be found by you."
  
• There is recovery by Jesus Christ. We have forgiveness of sins, restoration of our soul and our broken heart healed. I can tell you that for me this is very significant. I have been a very broken man and the heart of this child has been broken. But because of God's great love for me I am no consumed by death.
  
• There is perseverance through Jesus Christ. It is then that I am able to get through the difficult places in life. I realize that others will say "you never know what you would do in my shoes" but I guess I would like to think that my Lord is watching over me and that as long as I trust in him I can get through anything that life brings my way.
  
• Life begins with the death of Jesus Christ. Jesus said "I come that they might have life and have it more abundantly." Jesus' death is our entrance into his life. With his presence within our beings we can see life more clearly and enjoy the purpose for which we are created: to give glory to God.
  

Conclusion: Psalm 139

 ¹³ For you created my inmost being;
   you knit me together in my mother's womb.

¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
   your works are wonderful,
   I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
   when I was made in the secret place,
   when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
   all the days ordained for me were written in your book
   before one of them came to be.
¹⁷ How precious to me are your thoughts,^[a] God!
   How vast is the sum of them!
¹⁸ Were I to count them,
   they would outnumber the grains of sand—
   when I awake, I am still with you.

 ¹⁹ If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
   Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
²⁰ They speak of you with evil intent;
   your adversaries misuse your name.
²¹ Do I not hate those who hate you, LORD,
   and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
²² I have nothing but hatred for them;
   I count them my enemies.
²³ Search me, God, and know my heart;
   test me and know my anxious thoughts.
²⁴ See if there is any offensive way in me,
   and lead me in the way everlasting.

 

• I am an original thought!
  
• I am someone wonderful!
  
• I am not a mistake!
  
• I have purpose!
  
• God will never stop loving me!
  

 

NEXT STEPS:

• Seek help
  
• Talk to someone
  
• Talk to God
  
• Get Counseling
  
• Take Medication
  
• Volunteer
  

Please, please call me! 231-861-5375 or 231-301-0781. Life is too beautiful and your life is too valuable to lose!!